Off Balance

Rope walker

The past week or so, I’ve noticed that I’ve really been off balance.  Work that I normally have a handle on has been all over the place.  Time management skills have been jettisoned and even at exercise class, I can barely stand on a BOSU ball, much less my own two feet.

It’s been an overall world of unbalance, especially recently.  I wonder if that’s why everyone has been putting up their holiday decorations more quickly than usual – Thanksgiving is glossed over in hopes of grabbing and clinging to some of the Christmas spirit.

I’m hesitant to walk outside or post online anymore.  Even seemingly solid earth transforms into a wobbleboard at the slightest misstep.  We’ve created an alienation out of a nation, and it’s emotionally, intellectually and spiritually draining.  It’s so hard to love your fellow man when they’re being complete assholes.

There’s so much hurt and anger and shame and self-righteousness resonating through the airwaves and online – not just about Ferguson, but about war and sex and politics – that it’s just exhausting.

Aren’t you tired, y’all?

There will be 2 sides and 20 sides, and no will be able to hear each other over themselves.  It’s as if we’ve transformed into a nation of broadcasters, instead of remembering there’s a human being on the other side that also wants to be heard.

(Just like in business – are you actually listening, or just waiting for the pause so you can talk?)

So I don’t know what to pray for.  Peace?  Understanding?  Hope?  Love?  Are those only wishful thinking at the end of the day?  I loved this “Love Note to the World” from Momastery – that you should choose the “side” you identify with the least, and make them the focus of your prayers.

I’ve been regaining my own balance – both internally and externally.  I recently got over some wicked writer’s block, so at least I have words again.   (More on that later.) We worked on the BOSU ball last night in exercise class, and I didn’t fall over even once!

Imbalance can be good – you don’t get a stronger core without continuous tests of your weakest points.  But if our core test starts to more closely resemble a see-saw, teeter-tottering to extremes, someone’s always going to be left dangling.

I’m fully aware I’m not perfect.  I make the same mistakes over and over again (obviously haven’t learned what I need to learn).  I fall prey to making judgement about people because they either exhibit traits I abhor about myself or stand for principles too foreign or uncomfortable for me to comprehend.  I don’t think I’m alone in all that.

So, can we put down the swords already?  Practice some kindness – both for yourself and for others.  Focus on the things that make you most thankful.  Maybe even (and yes, I’m an eternal optimist) find a way to love those things you don’t understand.

I’ll be over here, working on my own balance.



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